things I am not allowed to do at hogwarts
by the midnight stalker
Summary: Group of one shorts that I'm doing because I am bored they are not going to be long but should hopefully be funny this set in year 7 voldie has not attacked and dumbles is not dead. hope you like but I should warn you I'am VERY bored and hyped up on suger so contiue at your own risk
1. I will not mock hufflepuff

Okay this is 50 things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts story that I am going to as I'm bored BTW I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER no matter how much I wish I did

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** Number 1:**_I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours show that they are "covered in bees"_

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It was a normal day at Hogwarts the sun was shining, the students were talking and harry potter was walking to the Hufflepuff table with a spoon…Okay the last thing was not really normal but It wasn't the weirdest thing that has ever happened of course the day just had to go down from there.

3rd person

Everyone on Gryffindor was having a somewhat normal meal for once well if you think Seamus drink blowing up is normal which if it had happened every day for the last … 6 years then yes it is normal. Anyway it was during this meal that one mister Harry potter got bored which if you had known him for the last 6 years you would have moved away from him like his best friend Ron did when Harry dutifully informed him a few minutes into dinner. So when a first year said rather offhand that the Hufflepuffs kinda look like they are covered in bees well he got a rather clever idea in his opinion. (No one asked his opinion again)On a boring summer weeding the garden Harry had heard his neighbour complain about the bees and how she hates having to killing them so instead pokes them with spoons. Back to the present Harry had just grabbed a large severing spoon (a clean one) and proceeded to walk over to the poor Hufflepuffs table. With the school watching him then he poked the nearest first year he could find..."poke poke poke" he chanted while poking all the poor Hufflepuffs who had no idea what was going on and to shocked to stop him. Unluckily his head of year professor McGonagall was not as shocked as the rest of the school "POTTER what you are doing" now Harry was a very smart boy but yet he still does not know what possessed him to say what he did "they are covered in bees so I am helping them" he winced already knowing what was going to happen having seen the expression on her face "DETENTION MR POTTER". He nodded not seeing the two grinning red heads of the surprised blonde sitting at the slytherin table


	2. I will not scare first years

Number 2: Revealing a giant killer snake lives downstairs is not the right way to get first years to behave

Screaming that's all our favourite boy wizard could hear "couldn't they shut up for a moment" he silently asked himself knowing if he said it aloud then the resident bookworm and his only female friend would hit him rather hard on the head or worse he didn't really want to be hexed by that which. As he would swear that she and Ginny were practicing hexing people for the fun of it. Back to the matter at hand the screaming was getting louder if that was possible he knew that he was better behaved then that when he was a first year. That's it the first years innocent little first years so easy to trick. If you had watched Harry at the second you would have seen the rather sinister smile that would have made even Voldemort pause. "Hay first years have you heard about the snake" he asked smiling sweetly (well he thought it was sweetly) "what snake" a brave girl in the back asked. He fake gasped "you don't know about the basilisk" "what basilisk" a different child asked warily he had to stop himself laughing "the one that lives down stairs in the basement he moves though the pipes eating naughty children" "WHAT" a little girl screamed "yes its true moaning myrtle was bad and the snake killed her ask her if you don't believe me" he told them nodding sadly.

THE NEXT DAY (in the great hall)

POTTER was the first thing Harry (and everyone else) heard when entering the hall for breakfast that morning. "Yes professor" he asked sounding quite confused and looking it too. "What did you say to the first years" the head of Gryffindor half yelled half asked. "Nothing what makes you thinks i said anything" he said trying and failing to look innocent. "A fifth year saw you talking to them last night and now they are perfectly behaved but scared of even talking" he pretended to think. "Oh I only told them about the basilisk" he said like he had discovered world peace or something professor McGonagall suddenly looked tired, "and what possessed you to tell them that" Harry looked her in the eye and said something the school was not expecting, (they thought especially the Slytherins that he was just bragging)" they were giving me a head ache" the professor sighed

POTTER  
Yes he replied looking kinda expecting she then said something which had become a usual occurrence  
DETENTION


	3. I am not to wear girl clothing period

**I may not go around in the Girl's uniform. No matter how 'breezy' I think the skirt is.**

It was another normal day at Hogwarts, Seamus was blowing something up, the twins were sneaking about and Snape was scaring the first years (hell everyone they just don't want to admit it).so on this incredibly normal day it was a bit of a shock to find our young friend mister harry potter sitting quietly in the Conner sniggering (read cackling) to himself holding a brown package. The brown package itself was not overly suspicious but then again some books in the libery looked innocent enough until they tried killing you so it was not that much of a surprise that professor McGonagall went warily over to him "potter what do you have there" she asked trying to be stern and not show how worried about what was in that package. "Oh you know some new uniform and stuff like that" he said much too cheerfully for the professors taste "what kind of stuff" this time not even trying to hide how worried she was "quills ink some sweets the usual stuff" harry chirped out again much too happily for her taste "right strait to bed then busy day tomorrow "she told him trying to get him to leave the common room as his sniggering (cackling) was scaring people " alright professor" he said smiling he then proceed to skip to his bed not noticing the relived sigh that everyone let out when he left. Neville who had lost his baby fat and tepidness watched him leave and said rather thoughtfully "what I want to know is what is he smoking and where can I get some" Ron Harry's best friend who was sitting across the room told them that it was sugar or that the stress finaly got to him which earned him some surprised looks.

THE NEXT DAY

WTF was the thought that went through everyone's mind when harry potter entered the great hall that morning wearing the girls school uniform (although everyone had to admit he made it look good) the school looked to see what the teachers would do about harry potters new style to see and equally shocked and slightly scared professor McGonagall walking towards the boy in question "potter what do you think your ding wearing the _**girls **_uniform" she semi yelled. As the school was getting use to the new potter they were kind expecting his answer "I thought there uniform looked more comfy and you get such a nice breeze" he sung already ready for what was coming it was only a matter of time

DETENTION POTTER

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Hay guys can you tell me what you think love it hate and comments would be nice thank you to the people who have commented or followed or favourite any of my stories and I just noticed that these seem to be getting longer and longer and for those that read any of my other stories they are on the way I haven't just left them though kinda stuck on chat room for the insane so any help would be very nice I would probably cry in happiness if you can so please please please


	4. I am no to sing

I am not allowed to sing on Halloween no matter how creepy the songs is

It was a normal day at Hogwarts the sun was shining the Twins were plotting professor McGonagall was stalking totally normal. That's what made everyone so nervous it had been quiet lately too quiet of course that soon will change as our young friend harry and the troublesome twins gred and forge are plotting well more like harry was convincing the twins to help him "ok so let me get this straight you want me and gred to sing with you on Halloween" gorge asked somewhat warily yep harry chirped way to happily for him not to be up to something " what song we going to sing then" Fred asked smiling like a cat that caught the cannery and the dog took the fall anyway. "why sandy claws of course"harry announced smiling happily and was soon joined by the twins smiling happily as well here's what we do...

**On Halloween night...**

Everyone was enjoying their meal when suddenly the lights went out it was silent for about a minute before everyone could hear a voice yell **introducing the three ghosts**. Suddenly a large amount of smoke appeared as the lights turned back on. On the stage that had turned up when the lights were off harry Fred and gorge stood proudly each wearing something different harry was wearing an muggle witch outfit Fred was wearing a muggle skeleton outfit and gorge was wearing an muggle zombie outfit. After about 10 seconds they began to sing...

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE

Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws

HARRY  
I wanna do it

FRED  
Lets draw straws

GORGE  
Jack said we should work together  
Three of a kind

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE

Birds of a feather  
now and forever  
Wheeee  
La, la, la, la, la

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight  
Throw away the key and then  
Turn off all the lights

HARRY

First, we're going to set some bait  
inside a nasty trap and wait  
when he comes a-sniffing we will  
snap the trap and close the gate

FRED  
Wait! I've got a better plan  
To catch this big red lobster man  
Let's pop him in a boiling pot  
And when he's done we'll butter him up

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE

Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
throw him in a box  
Bury him for ninety years  
then see if he talks

GORGE

Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man  
Can take the whole thing over then  
He'll be so pleased, I do declare  
that he will cook him rare

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE

Wheeee

HARRY

I say that we take a cannon  
Aim it at his door  
And then knock three times  
And when he answers  
Sandy Claws will be no more

FRED

You're so stupid, think now  
lf we blow him up to smithereens  
We may lose some pieces  
And then Jack will beat us black and green

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Tie him in a bag  
Throw him in the ocean  
Then, see if he is sad

HARRY AND FRED  
Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around  
If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town

GORGE  
He'll be so pleased by our success  
that he'll reward us too, I bet

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE  
Perhaps he'll make his special brew  
Of snake and spider stew  
Ummm!

We're his little henchmen and  
we take our job with pride  
we do our best to please him  
and stay on his good side

FRED

I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb

GORGE  
I'm not the dumb one

HARRY  
You're no fun

FRED  
Shut up

HARRY  
Make me

FRED  
I've got something, listen now  
This one is real good, you'll see  
We'll send a present to his door  
Upon there'll be a note to read  
Now, in the box we'll wait and hide  
Until his curiosity entices him to look inside

GORGE  
And then we'll have him  
One, two, three

HARRY ,FRED,AND GORGE  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick  
Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits  
Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, see what we will see  
Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the key

then a massive amount of smoke appeared which caused one professor McGonagall to choke slightly as she had stood up to yell at the three students only to find when the smoke cleared they we back in their seats like nothing had ever happened...

POTTER WEASLEYs the three waited a seconded before answering oh so innocently yes professor

And as the whole of the great hall watched with varying levels of amusement as they prepared for the usual to happen

DETENTION MR POTTER MR WEASLEYS


End file.
